


Watching Over You

by owarisosalty



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angel Marco Bott, M/M, My First AO3 Post, angel!Marco
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-15 18:26:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5795245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/owarisosalty/pseuds/owarisosalty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The missions have become even harder than before. The number of Titans has increased from the past years. Levi"s squad is slowly trying to move forward, kill as many Titans as possible. But the innocents around them die at a fast race. </p><p>Jean never wants to do anything wrong. His rage against Titans makes him do his work neatly and fast. He would have gone crazy if Marco wasn't there to calm him down. But Marco little knew that the reason why Jean was like that was because of him. Jean couldn't forgive himself for letting Marco die. And the boy being his guardian angel wasn't helping very much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Watching Over You

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first AO3 work, and half of me thinks I am doing everything wrong. Let's hope I actually don't do anything bad.

Jean always woke up in the middle of the night. His nightmares would always keep him up for a few hours. He still couldn't get over the fact that Marco was indeed gone. He was stuck in the past, dreaming about a better life.  
  
But that was before Marco came back, as his guardian angel. At first, Jean was happy to see Marco again. It felt like a dream, yet it was real. But his dream came true slowly broke down after some time. Jean was witnessing more and more deaths. He had to calm down people who just lost someone dear. He had to stay up night after night to guard his friends. And, after a while, all came back to him. His friend's death, his inability of protecting him. Just seeing Marco's angelic face every time he was waking up was making him sick. How could someone so pure and kind like Marco die, and watch after someone like Jean? Wasn't Marco bored by him?  
  
They never talked about it. They never tried to voice their concern. They just kept going on like nothing happened.  
  
Marco wanted to talk with Jean. About all of this. Their situation and what is going on with this place and the Titans. Marco wanted to seem as human as possible. At least he could do that. He hated crying over his problem. He wanted to accept it as destiny. What happened, happened. He couldn't change it anymore. He was trying to continue his job as a guardian angel, but Jean's recent attitude has made him wonder if it was really worth it. Yes, he is helping Jean stay alive and keep his cool for most of them time. But for the past few weeks, Jean has treated him like a nothing.  
  
Oh, how many times Jean has cheated death. Only with Marco's help, of course. Maybe that was what made Jean so gloomy. The fact that he was supposed to be dead for months now. Without Marco, he sure would have lost his life when a wave of Titans attack only their team. There were too much to handle, even when Eren transformed into a Titan. Jean still remembers how Marco tried to keep him alive in all of those conditions. The others were glad to see Jean alive, but confused as hell too.  
  
When Jean wasn't on duty, he was training to get stronger. Just like today. Since the dawn, he's been out, working his ass out. His friends saw it as a normal thing. It was nice to see Jean's determinations. But Marco, he saw it from another angle. He thought Jean was only overworking himself. He thought Jean was doing all of that just to avoid being close to him. He might be an angel now, but Marco still had emotions. He still knows what love feels. He remembers pain very well. Too well actually. And this, seeing Jean do all of this was making him feel his chest hurt in pain. Was he too emotional? Was he over reacting everything?  
  
Marco walked closer to Jean, watching carefully his moves. Just like Marco thought, jean has gotten better at fighting. Marco couldn't lie, he was proud of his friend.  
  
"Marco," Jean's voice called. "If you aren't here for something important, please go. I need to concentrate." Jean's words left Marco shocked. Since when did Jean hate Marco's presence? Was he a real bother?  
  
"Why can't I hang around? It's boring all alone." Marco felt the pain in his chest hurt more.  
  
"Not now. Later," Jean said, going back to his training. The sting in Marco's eyes was too much to bear. Only far away from Jean he let out the few tears touch his skin. It hurt more than the moment he learned he was dead. It hurt more than when he let everything behind him. Everything involving Jean hurt Marco. So why was he still around Jean? Why doesn't Marco go away and help someone else. Someone who actually deserves it. Someone who's worth of a second chance. Someone who isn't Jean.  
  
Marco kept wondering around. Others couldn't see him, he was only Jean's guardian angel. Marco knew that everyone would react the same way Jean did when he first showed himself to the boy. Jean cried for a good hour, and asked at least 10 times if it was real. Of course, he was in denial first, saying he was going crazy or he was dreaming. But when Jean saw that Marco didn't go away, he had to live with the idea that now he had Marco next to him again.  
  
Marco could see the others losing their hope too. In the past few months he has lived with them, he has seen many things that he wants to un-see. He has never thought he will catch Mikasa cry because of Titans. He has never thought he will hear Eren say that he wants to give up. It was sad. Marco wished he could cheer them up. At least for a day.  
  
While he was on his little walk, Marco didn't realize the night came. For him, time passes faster than before. Maybe because it wasn't important now. He didn't had anything to take care of. He was just doing as said, no time limit.  
  
He walked back to the base. Some of his friends were getting ready to sleep. After the attack, all of them started sleeping with their equipment close to them. No one wanted something like that to happen ever again.  
  
Marco remembered that today was Saturday, Jean's day of overnight duty. He slowly made his way towards the center of the base. Why slowly, he doesn't even know why. It wasn't like he was doing something wrong. Plus, no one could hear or see him, it was the best state of running around and fuck things up.  
  
He soon saw Jean, already in his position. Only a few people were out by now. Some of them were saying good night to their friends, while others were coming back from their training. It seemed like a normal night. But everyone knew it wasn't normal. Not when Titans were walking freely, not far from them. But they couldn't break the little facade down. They needed to look strong and in control. But Marco knew that wasn't true. He could see the sadness in their hearts.  
  
He stood next to Jean, making the boy jump a little. Did Jean forgot about Marco's existence?  
  
"Can I stay with you this time?" Marco's voice deceived him by cracking at the end. Jean only nodded, making Marco sigh. So it's going to be this kind of night.  
  
After a few minutes, the place was drowned into a deadly silence. no one to be see, no one to be heard. Everything was quiet. But not the kind of quiet that helps you calm down. It was more stressful this time. Jean felt unusual about it. Since when did it became like this, between him and Marco? Weren't they supposed to be best friends, who never get bored of each other? Since when did Jean wanted Marco to go away?  
  
"You know," Marco started, making Jean come back from his thoughts. "If there is something wrong, you can talk to me. I am here for that."  
  
"Aren't you here to save my ass?" Jean's tone came out meaner than he meant it.  
  
"Yes, but I am still your friend. Friends are meant to help you out, right? And I want to help you." Marco tried his best not to break into tears again.  
  
Jean shook his head and closed his eyes. "Stop acting so nice towards me." The statement made Marco frown.  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"Why do you do all of this when I don't deserve it? Why do you keep saving my life when I should already be dead? Things shouldn't be like this. Our roles should be inversed," Jean said, his voice raising with every sentence.  
  
Marco was taken aback. Did Jean really fell that miserable? Of course he would want to save him, Jean means a lot to Marco. He doesn't want to see his friend in the same situation ad him. There are also chances that Jean will not end in the same place as him. They could be separated again.  
  
"Jean, stop saying all this nonsense. I will save you, no matter what. I am not letting you end up like me." Marco's voice was stronger than before.  
  
"Why? Why so much trouble for me? I let you die, Marco. I couldn't keep my promise. I swore I will protect you with my life, but it looks like I am not even good enough for that. You shouldn't be next to me. No one should. I hurt too many people." Half way through his speech, tears broke on Jean's face. His vision went blurry, he could barely see Marco's face. But even with that bad vision, Marco still looked ethereal in his eyes.  
  
"Are you telling me to leave you?" Marco's whispered only for Jean to hear, like someone was listening to them.  
  
Jean didn't dare to lift his head. He nodded, more tears falling from his eyes. He couldn't believe he lied to Marco for the first time of his life.  
  
Everything was bullshit for Marco. How could his only reason for still being here tell him to go away? He knew something wasn't right. Jean would have never cried while saying those words if everything was real. He could see the lies Jean was saying without even using his power a little bit. He knew Jean for too long to believe him on those words. And even if it was real, Marco would never forgive himself for leaving Jean alone. Bad things could happen if he wouldn't be next to Jean.  
  
Marco made a step closer to Jean, wrapping his arm around the man. Jean put his head on Marco's chest, soaking the angel's white shirt. They stayed like that until Jean finally calmed down. With his red eyes and short breath, Jean looked at Marco. The boy's freckles remained him of the night's sky full of starts. To Jean, the freckles looked better than actual stars. He could look at them for the rest of his life, and never get bored of them.  
  
Marco took Jean's chin between his fingers, making him look into his eyes. "I will not leave you alone. Ever. But if one day you make me go away, and I end up by doing so, remember that I will always watch over you." 


End file.
